Thursday, April 23, 2009

What Jesus said (and did) about Family - Part 2

(This is a continuation of the previous note.)

God designed the church to rest on the finished work of the Cross. You see, satan has no problem with praising, dancing, fiery preaching, bible reading, nice buildings, conferences, building funds, fasting, tithing, or even regular church attendance. In fact, he’s sitting in the front row in most churches shouting the loudest “Amen!” He’s fine with a powerful youth ministry, with great choir, a thriving outreach ministry, and a well staffed volunteer organization. Why not open a few blind eyes and heal a few tumors while you’re at it. Satan is OK as long as no one gets up and says, “The work for your deliverance has already been completed! The price for your holiness has already been paid! Jesus is the end of the law for everyone who believes! Your inheritance is free!” That’s when he starts to sense any real danger. But as long as there’s a grace/law mixture being preached, he’s as cool as a cucumber. The body of Christ simply does not have overtaking capabilities without the teaching of the pure, the real Gospel.

In ministries today, we are trying have to the “power of God that brings salvation” with no power. That’s ridiculous when you think about it. The power to rescue people from hell, the grave, poverty, sickness, and all other lack is in the Gospel, which is righteousness and blessing by faith. (Rom 1:16-17) With even the slightest departure from that message our foundation is cracked and the structure is unfit. That’s just the black and white truth. In fact, Paul pronounced a double curse on anyone who taught anything different from that message in Galatians 1. The first 5 chapters of Galatians is a strong rebuke of the church for being legalistic. He said things like, “Even if an angel from heaven comes teaching another gospel than what I’ve shared, let him be cursed!” (Gal. 1:8) He later said, “Are you so stupid that you began your life with Christ by the Spirit, and now you’re trying to walk with him by your own effort?” (Gal. 3:3) Then, he added in chapter 5 verse 2, “For anyone trying to be righteous or get anything from God by his effort, Christ profits you nothing.” You might as well not even be saved. Wow. It’s not to condemn anyone, but to shed light. Plus, I realize that by now I’ve already lost anyone who this wasn’t for anyway.

I think preachers believe that too much grace will cause more people to sin. The opposite is true. The strength of sin is the law (2 Cor. 15:56, also see Gal. 2:19-21 NLT). The more rules or laws are set up around holiness or blessing, the more that holiness and blessing will elude people’s grasp. Doesn’t God seem so backwards sometimes? Here are some benefits to teaching pure grace:

1. People become instantly able to recognize the leading of the Lord. (See my earlier note “How to be Spirit-led…An Experiment”)

2. Evangelizing will improve and increase.

3. People won’t be able to get enough teaching on grace. They will be able to sit through the exact same sermon week after week and still want more.

4. The Holy Spirit will begin directing traffic and people will get into their proper place.

5. Church productivity and efficiency will sky-rocket.

6. Church income will dramatically increase.

7. The church will always know the peace of being in the direction and the will of God.

8. There will be more movement of the Holy Spirit during services.

9. Each church will be unique.

10. More leaders will emerge.

I think the only downside is that all the religious people will immediately leave. The people depending on their service/giving/holiness/whatever to bless them will be terribly offended and leave the church. That’s OK. Jesus called those kinds of people vipers (Matt. 3:7) Now, I just don’t see the benefit of having snakes crawling around while people are trying to worship :)

To conclude, Jesus was a very secure man. He didn’t take his family’s lack of support personally. He also trusted in the power of the Holy Spirit to rescue his family. They’d spent enough time with him for the seed of salvation to be planted in their hearts. Ideally, the same family he grew up with would be the same family who was born of God. But, when forced to choose because his purpose and calling were at stake, he departed trusting that the Holy Spirit could handle it the job. He created distance. This is what I’m doing as well. No, it’s not easy but what other choice do I really have. I can’t not follow the Lord. I’d wilt not being and doing what I’m meant to. And, I rely on his power to help me with each step. He’s so patient and gentle. Plus, he has sent people into my life who share his opinion about me and celebrate me. Only God can do that.

Your “distance” may not look like mine. And don’t put anything on from the outside. Allow these changes to flow from the inside out. Let the Holy Spirit lead you through your heart. That way you won’t be vacillating. He’ll let you know how much explanation is necessary. He'll strengthen you to act even when you can't articulate or put your finger on the problem. He’ll harden you to the seemingly good intentions or the expressions of abandonment from others. He will help you take a stand. He knows when to be tender and when to be tough. Again, let him lead. Don’t forget that he didn’t come to being peace.

If this note has pricked your heart, then respond by just saying “OK” in your heart. Have a frank conversation with the Lord and allow him to guide you. He knows your sensitive areas and he will strengthen them. Remember, God knows the wrinkles of your heart far better than you do. He knows our motives and fears better than we do. And he will bring them to your attention with the intent to heal them. Well, I hope this has encouraged you. I certainly enjoyed writing it. Be blessed!

PS – I know what you’re thinking. “How did she go from discussing family to talking about grace?” Don’t you know me by now? We could be talking about barbeque chicken and I’d say, “Speaking of barbeque chicken, did you know that the work for your life with God has already been done?” LOL

Your questions, comments, insights, and revelations are always welcome. Or, if you'd feel more comfortable, feel free to send me an email.

What Jesus said (and did) about Family – Part 1

Family is a very sensitive subject. So, I will try to be delicate in addressing what I believe is God’s idea of family. I believe this is going to set somebody free.

Almost 2 years ago, I tearfully told the Lord how hurt I was and how hopeless I felt in a particular relationship with a family member. So right there, while sitting on my air mattress in the living room that had become my home, He led me to Matthew 10:34-39 and began to gently reveal to me his thoughts on family. Let’s read that.

“Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.”

These were pretty powerful words. What the Lord was saying to me was that Christians will rock the boat and cause tension even in their own families. But if I continue to choose to honor their opinions of me or of the Lord above God’s opinion of me and of himself, I was not worthy of being with him. In fact, I need to have the same attitude that God apparently has: Don’t just put up with me. Don’t be ashamed of me. If you are, you can leave. I don’t need or want anybody on board who won’t stand with and for me. He was also sharing that if I will lose my life, lose my relationships, be willing to walk alone, I won’t be walking alone for very long. He will save me. He will make divine connections with other people who will proudly stand for and with me.

After imparting that, he began to remind me of the different interactions Jesus had with his family. The one I think most people are familiar with is recorded in Mark and Luke. Jesus was teaching to a crowd of people and someone told him that his mother and brothers were outside and wanted to see him. He responded, “My mother and brothers are these who hear the Word of God and do it.” (Luke 8:20-21) But, then he led me to the book of John where I read about the two other interactions that Jesus had with his family. Let’s look at those and uncover Jesus’ uncommon view of family.

1. John 7:1-5 “After these things Jesus walked in Galilee; for He did not want to walk in Judea, because the Jews sought to kill Him. Now the Jews’ Feast of Tabernacles was at hand. His brothers therefore said to Him, “Depart from here and go into Judea, that Your disciples also may see the works that You are doing. For no one does anything in secret while he himself seeks to be known openly. If You do these things, show Yourself to the world.” For even His brothers did not believe in Him.”

2. John 19:27 “Then He said to the disciple (John), “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.”

From here, God revealed some life-changing truths, even though at the time I wasn’t able to embrace them.

First, we see Jesus’ brothers who did not believe in Jesus. Notice that the bible did not say they didn’t like him. No, they just didn’t believe in him. This is NOT a small thing. When I’m around people who don’t believe that I have anything valuable to offer, I wilt like a flower. Conversely, when I’m around people who encourage me, see something special in me, and are emotionally secure enough to point it out, I blossom like a rose. That’s not just a weakness that’s unique to me. Beloved, when you are around people who don’t believe in you, it causes you to doubt your worth in your own mind. That leads to you doubting God’s influence in your life. Now he has to take extra time to reassure and console you. It would have been much better and easier for you had you never exposed your heart to that bad seed. We have to guard our hearts with ALL diligence because it produces whatever is put in it (Prov. 4:23) Jesus understood that his brothers were not personally attacking him. But, because of the exposure of his heart, they threatened his confidence and ultimately the call of God on his life…which would have been a very bad thing.

Because the first four books of the New Testament are just four different accounts of the same events, for the purpose of this note, I’m treating them as one book capturing one space of time. The second time you see Jesus dealing with his family is the incident I mentioned earlier. He basically rejects them and their request to see him. Notice that he did not say, “My mother and brothers are those who repent from their sins and are saved.” No, he qualified it. He said those who “hear the Word and do it” (Luke 8:21). That’s a different story. Everyone in my immediate family and nearly everyone in my extended family is a Christian. But Jesus did not define family as just all the Christians. I’ll discuss this more very shortly.

The third and final interaction that Jesus has with his family is when he was hanging on the cross. He put John in charge of the care his mother. This tells me that Jesus did not neglect his family’s material needs. He saw to it that they were taken care of. Clearly, he did not have a hard heart toward them, nor was he harboring any feelings of resentment. It seems he was just doing what he had to do by separating himself. Expect for Jesus’ first miracle of turning water into wine in John 2:1-11, these are the only three times that Jesus was in contact with his family after he started his ministry.

Here are a few things the Lord showed me after he put these puzzle pieces together for me:

a. He cut his family off emotionally and separated himself geographically. He didn’t mess around with their lack of belief. He created some distance between them and himself.

b. He didn’t allow them to endanger the will of God for his life. It wasn’t personal.

c. He was able to leave them and reject them because he trusted the seed he’d sown into their hearts. After growing up with him, Jesus knew his family had enough information for the Holy Spirit to convict their hearts and bring them to repentance. He knew he wasn’t the Convincer. He basically said, “This is a job for the Holy Ghost! I sow the seed and he will give the increase.” (1 Cor. 3:6-7)

d. Based on what’s written, Jesus didn’t send a disciple or even a water boy to make sure his family received the message of salvation. After John 7, he made no effort to personally witness to them at all. Nothing. Again, he trusted the stirring, convincing, and effective abilities of the Holy Spirit. He knew he could not force anyone into repentance. (Yet, it can be implied in Acts 1:14 that his entire household did end up believing in him because they were praying with the disciples. Jesus' brothers went from not believing in him (John 7:5) to praying and fasting with the disciples WITHOUT Jesus "witnessing" to them. He stayed in the flow of the Holy Spirit and trusted him to do the work. Again we sow as led, and God gives the increase. (1 Cor. 3:6-7))

e. Jesus defined family as the people who “hear and do”. I don’t think he was condemning disobedient Christians here, and neither am I. I believe he was saying that real family consists of people who are led by the Spirit of God. Those people who go with the flow of the Holy Ghost. (These are also the kind of people who will agree with God about you.) Today, that’s a condemning statement. But in Jesus’ day it was almost like common knowledge because the message he preached was VERY different from what is preached today. Jesus’ message was literally irresistible to nearly everyone who heard it (expect religious people). His message makes hearing and following the leading of the Holy Spirit accessible to everyone. His message makes it easy for a 2-week old Christian to be a master at recognizing and following the leading of the Lord. More on that later.

f. Jesus idea of family was very fluid. He wasn’t bound to the idea of natural blood the way we are. To God, Jesus’ blood is what connects us. And his blood is more real to God than the blood of our ancestors.

g. God needed to get YOU into the earth. He used your parents to produce your body, but you are not your body. You’re also not your mind. Christian or not, you are a spirit. Spiritual truths are more real to God than natural ones.

I’m not making this up. These are Jesus’ own words and experiences. Some of my initial thoughts were, “Well, who will take care of me when I need help? My friends can’t do that. Who raised me? Who knows me better than anybody? My family right? I know some Christians who would sooner cut me that bless me!” The truth is, and I have to be blunt, the body of Christ does not rest on the foundation that God designed. Did you know that if a builder where to build a home with a cracked foundation, the local government will condemn the building? It’s a hazardous area, unfit for life. It doesn’t matter how beautiful it is, its unsound structure threatens human life. And no matter how many beautiful churches are built, how much people smile, how “blessed” people become, no matter how wise we get in our own eyes, if the foundation is missing or cracked, the building is condemned. It’s a hazardous area, not fit for life.

OK, here’s a good place to pause. The rest is continued in “What Jesus said (and did) about Family– Part 2”